Weird title, I know. Let me explain.
July 1, 2009 was a day just like any other. Sure it was Canada Day but we didn't have any significant plans. Our good friends, the Schraders were moving from Barrie to Bradford, so my husband Angelo went over to give them a hand with the move. At the time we were living in Beeton and I stayed home with our four children. We had just sold our house and were getting ready to move to Barrie.
I will never forget the phone call I received that day. Around noon, Josh Schrader called me and told me that Angelo had just had a seizure and asked me if he had ever had one before. I did not believe Josh at first, in fact I thought he was joking. Josh quickly confirmed he was NOT joking and asked me the same question again. This time I answered and Josh informed me that Angelo had a seizure, he was unconscious but breathing and that an ambulance was on the way. I was shocked. What was going on? I didn't understand. I knew nothing at all about seizures or why this could have happened to him. My perfectly healthy, young husband was lying unconscious? What? How? Why?
I quickly got off the phone and made arrangements for a friend to stay with the kids so I could go to the hospital. In hindsight, it was probably not a good idea for me to drive to the hospital alone. However, it was a thirty minute drive that I got to spend alone in the car with my Lord, crying out to Him for my husband and for my family. I cried all the way to the hospital. I cried for the all the regular reasons one cries in this type of situation but there was something else going on in my heart.
I had been reading a book called, The Excellent Wife. It's based on Proverbs 31 and talks about our biblical role as wives. I had never understood what it meant to be a biblical wife so I found the book very interesting and very convicting at times. So back to my thirty minute drive to Barrie. Here I am alone in the car and all I could think about was if I lost Angelo, I would never have a chance to be a better wife. I know that may sound weird and maybe selfish in a way. But it was a thought I could not shake. I believe for me, it was a turning point on how I viewed my role in our marriage. Oh I am still a work in progress today and am learning and growing each day. God used this horrible situation to soften my hard heart, to become a more understanding, supportive wife and to be less argumentative, demanding and controlling. No I am not an excellent wife! (Notice how I said less argumentative, demanding and controlling....those things are not gone completely). I am a wife still in need of God's grace and mercy each day and I love my husband and am privileged to be his wife.
Since that day, Angelo has had several other seizures in the coming years and was later diagnosed with Idiopathic Epilepsy and is now on medication to help control the seizures. We are so thankful for God's grace and mercy in every difficult circumstance regarding Angelo's seizures. Angelo developing Epilepsy definitely changed the course of our life and through this time we have learned a lot about absolute surrender and so much more. Isaiah 55:8 reminds me of this terrific truth...."For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD." I know for sure that I would not have chosen the path of epilepsy for my husband but I also know that I would not change a thing! I have learned that God's ways are ALWAYS better than my ways. And this difficult path has taught Angelo and I so many valuable lessons. We are closer to each other and to our Lord because of it. Romans 8:28 really sums it up well.
